105.
Today I realised that I’m in love. Not a crush or a ‘moment of lust’ as I thought it was, no, I’m actually in love with this boy. I realised this after two hours of talking to him about personal and relevant things, then finding myself leaning into him closer, but stopped by the invisible barrier - the fact that he has a girlfriend. I wanted more of him, not just sex, I wanted his mind in me and mine in his, I wanted to wrap myself completely around him to protect him and be able to cover every inch of his beautiful body. I wanted to get lost in his eyes, I wanted to hold my hand up to his chest to feel his heartbeat, I wanted him to carry on talking, never stop that beautiful voice, but at the same time I wanted silence between us, so that there was nothing but chemistry. I wanted him to tell me that he doesn’t care about his girlfriend anymore, that I’m his as He’s mine. I wanted him to embrace me with a passionnate kiss, though after experiencing all of these feelings at once I’d doubt standing would be possible - he blows me away. I hope that this feeling will never stop, it’s torturous, but I love loving him. I hope that he joins me in love.