Today I Lived

“I couldn’t stay after you said you could never be with me - I didn’t want to start crying in public. Did you see my eyes burning before you left for class? I hope you meant what you said and that this is what you want, because I don’t think I can bounce back from this one. Are you sure this is what you want? You know what I don’t get? I’ve lost you three times and I still want you back, but you were hurt and now you don’t trust anyone. It’s always a risk. If you like me so much then it should be worth it. Don’t you tihnk it was a risk for me to continuously put myself back out there? I was always deathly afraid that you’d change your mind again and then I’d be even more messed up. I’ve waited this long, I’ll continue waiting. What’s a few more months or a year if it means a lifetime? You’re just scared because you know that if we started dating, we would be together forever. I know it just like you do. Do you know how rare what we have is? If you find it, you don’t give it up for time or because you’re afraid. That’s why I’m still here. I’m not goign to put my money in a lottery for some magical girl you say will come along and be so amazing. I’d rather work every day and save up for you. What’s more like a storybook? The work we have already put in, or waiting for some mythical person to appear? I’ve always compared everyone to you. It never mattered how long it had been,  there wasn’t one girl that I wanted more than you. Even when I held other hands and kissed other lips, they were never your fingers in between mine and it was never your breath on my mouth. I just don’t think I want to be without you, even if we never date or get married or whatever. I’d just like you to be close forever. In my mind it’s like this: I like you, you like me, you’re not going to be ready for quite a while, so we just wait. It’s simple and good and alright.”

-a letter from a boy that wants to call me his girlfriend

-via silverwords.tumblr.com

(Source: fivehundredeightyone)